In the Spirit of Vulnerability

In the Spirit of Vulnerability

Sometimes I think I’m processing things for the collective. There seems to be no way I can feel so sad, so suddenly, especially when all signs point to most things going “right” in my life.

At the same time, I’m re-adjusting to who I am. I got out of a 7 year relationship last year, and a big part of me is still processing that. Most days, I feel like I’ve healed, but it was such a radical change that I can’t say I’ve healed and move on just like that. It takes time.

It can be so easy to distract myself. Constantly keeping busy, jumping from task to task, trip to trip, event to event. And it’s easy to ride the wave of “everything’s fun!” But when I slow down and sit with my emotions, I realize there is more work to do.

I have come to accept that there always is. Only time and experiences can dictate my path. I signed up for this and I know I have to follow through – even though it can be incredibly tough at times.

I think of how I’ve transformed, and I’m proud of myself. I recognize my vulnerability, I know when to slow down, I let myself cry early instead of letting it build up and cause a breakdown. I’m a lot more open with my emotions and I’ve truly embraced the concept of surrender. It’s been hard, but it has also lead to immense happiness and self-discovery. I have learned that on the other side of hardship is great joy.

I’ve watched myself transform over the last year. I used to live for others instead of living for myself. Now I live for myself and put my own needs first. It’s a counterintuitive process for an empath, but it’s made me more centered in my core. I’ve grown to deeply respect myself, for all I have been through and my ability to keep fighting.

Life moves in twists and turns. The road isn’t straight. I have stopped trying to figure out which way it goes, and am taking things one step at a time.

I trust that great things are coming. I also appreciate the greatness of right now – this very moment, where I can sit on the beach and look around at people with their various stories… living life in the best way they know how.